you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think people are normalizing furries
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
