cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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