Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize