you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
