You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
