If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
