I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
