so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
