weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
