i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
