Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
