you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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