I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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