it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
