is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
