Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
