playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
