Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize