glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
