Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
