I wanna passion pit in your ass
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
