margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
a search helicopter?!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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