it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
