then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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