4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
