yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
