so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
