how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
