so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
