Moan for me like Helen Keller
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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