Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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