He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize