I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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