i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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