If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
