fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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