Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
