my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
