Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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