This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
