she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need a hoe opinion
go on
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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