and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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