she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
