just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He passed out mid-signature
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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