so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize