i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize