too bad you live with your parents still
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
