they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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