"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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