if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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