That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
