PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
