I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
